Over the weekend I went back on the doctor’s recommended diet regimen. Actually, I’m not supposed to call it a “diet” because it’s meant to be a permanent change in my eating habits. A “way of eating” or, aptly, woe.
It’s essentially a low-carb routine, though unlike Atkins and others I can’t eat as much no-carb foods as I want (no bacon-wrapped butter chunks with cheese :), I’m not supposed to eat any of the low-carb “frankenfoods” like low-carb bars, and there is some provision for high-fiber, complex carbohydrates and– eventually– more whole fruits.
Trying to make this kind of change sucks:
- First, there’s not a lot of intrinsic motivation– the odds of it making any significant difference in my lifespan are almost nil, so I have to think about daily quality of life issues. Really, I’m doing it for my kids. I’d like to see them both graduate from high school, so if there’s even a small chance, I’ll take it.
- Second, people inevitably want to make a big deal about how other people eat. The body is complex and complicated; I don’t want to argue about the philosophy behind my food choices. I don’t need special accommodations, I don’t need anyone to feel bad for me. I don’t need my lunch to be a topic of conversation.
- Third, although I don’t want to be treated like a special case, it is hard to deal with all the sugary, doughy snacks that are everywhere at home and at work.
The worst aspect, though, is facing my own lack of control. I count on amazingly high doses of carbohydrates as a kind of self-medication. I’ve become accustomed to having little control of my emotions and eating is– to a large extent– just another form of emotional expression. It’s an admittedly poor coping mechanism, but helpful nonetheless. I know from past experience that cutting the carbs down helps me mentally, and perhaps I will reach that place I used to know way back in the day, where food was fuel and exercise was the psychic salve I needed. Until then I just have to try to avoid the seemingly inevitable failures along the way… or at least not let them derail me completely and for good. That demands control– and remembering why I’m doing it in the first place.
It ain’t just you. We are evolved to work for sustenance, but today it’s all cheap and easy. Today we can literally consume, at negligble energy expenditure, for a five spot, as many calories as our evolutionary ancesters would work their asses off to eat in a couple of days. We just aren’t built for this kind of availablilty. And, yes, commerce has truned food into a consumer item, suitable for self-expression. Coke, not Pepsi, Arby’s, not Carl’s, and so on. It ain’t just you.
There’s more to it than that. Food is, yes, a commodity, and that’s horrible, blah, blah, blah. But keep in mind too that overeating or eating excessive amounts of a particular kind of food (carbs) is, as Chris says, a form of self-medication. But self medication for psychological ailments beyond the control of the individual. Go with prescription drugs.